Sunday, July 11, 2010
Today's post, is just random.
For him, if he ever drop by.
Yeah, my life's been going up & down.
It was tough, tiring and breathtaking.
But i walked over it, i'm puling through.
I'm still recovering from a deep wound yeah?
This wound is like, really deep and big.
I've lost this battle very badly, your attack made me died.
But i revive, with the help of my love ones, ♥
They have been there for me when you hadnt, & replaced you physically.
But in my heart and emotionally, you never left.
You've been sitting in there, really long.
"Why not let go?" I've asked myself.
I've tried, but i'm really worn out.
Worn out from running this million-miles marathon.
They told me i'm being silly, i havent seen oyu before,
And yet, I can emo over you till that kindof state,
where i can just sit & stare in the mid-air,
dont care about anything, dont talk/answer anybody,
& just pull a long face, letting my tears flow.
Arent you somebody? Arent you strong?
You're stronger than anybody else, who can easily pick and throw me away.
You've once replaced my hatred towards CK.
You've once made me feel that,
there's guys out there whom i can trust, rely on, Love & not be afraid.
You told me you'll run this long, hard and bumpy marathon with me,
till we reach the very end of it.
You're such a superman, you pick me like your enemy, a baddie,
& threw me with all your might and power.
How great and mighty can you be?
How difficult i stand up, you might not know.
But dont you know how difficult, how uneasy & how insecure it was,
when i had to decide?
I didnt want to lose you,
but i'm afraid of falling off the cliff & die again.
But you assured me, making me believe you.
Yeah, & i treasured you like hell, i thought you were my new love,
but it just came and went off,
telling me guys can never make promises which are really meant to be fulfilled.
They never meant to love us, never meant to stay throughout and be by us.
Oh, and i realise, how silly of me to cheat myself, you know why?
Because, i fell too hard and i cant believe i needed you so much,
love you to the extend, to that endless giving,
You gave me so much hope once, and burnt it all at once.
Or should i rephrase, you burnt whatever you can.
You gave me nothing you promised,
you gave me no love, no happiness you promised.
You gave me all the tireness, the heartbreaking times,
the tears, the sad ones & all the bad things, FULLY.
I've cried, shedding my tears for you, hoping you would turn, but all was wasted.
My N levels are coming & you still stands.
You linger around me, casting a shadow around me.
Unbelievable, you are indeed a unique one, the last kind of you on earth.
I sometimes slash myself over you, but so what?
It pains me to think of you, it breaks my heart to think of you.
I know i'm being silly, being an idiot cause my friends, my love ones,
says its worthless to cry and be sad over you.
I know i'll eventually pull through, but i'll need time, care & concern.
It aint easy, but i'm willing to try.
I've got better things to do and I've improve.
I no longer cry over every night, worrying for you.
I'm now moving on, taking my steps carefully.
Although i still cry over you at times, it's just temporary.
You may never know how hard it is, i hope you wont.
Cause it's really too hard & bitter.
I'll move on, and try out new things in life.
Because many who love me have been by me, pulling me,
giving me a helping hand & strolling with me.
And guess what? I've taken a few big steps towards life.
1. I've work hard & improve in my studies.
2. Be more cheerful
3. Try on contacts! For i always wanted to.
All i wanted to prove was, i can do it even without you.
You gave me hope once, you gave me nightmare once.
But no worries, for what i need is the most important thing, time, :/
I'll walk over this big hole, my wound will then recover.
You gave me a lesson. tyvm.
A lesson which made me grow.I'll move on, being stronger.
even without you,
Alrights, bye people, :D
Remember to leave me a tagg yeah?
TAKECARES & LOVES;